Author Archives: sekoku

I’m like James Bond and Jason Stalham put together. Okay, maybe not. I’m a consumer whore and as such been tapped to write for you.

Critter Crunch Review: A Rainbow of Barf on your HDTV

Capybara Games has provided me with a review copy of their first foray into the Playstation Network’s waters. A port of the original iPhone/iPod Touch release with some more content, how does this version of Critter Crunch stack up?

Critter Crunch

First off, when you boot the game you’re welcomed by Capybara’s “mascot” (so to speak) for the game: Biggs. The loveable little “critter” smiles and winks at you. Beckoning you to press start to continue into the game, or wait for the demo reel to start to show you gameplay footage. On the first boot-up, you are locked out from most of the game modes, besides “adventure mode,” for single-player.

Local and Online co-op and versus play, however, are unlocked from the get-go…

To continue on, the singleplayer “adventure” mode is your standard story mode for puzzle games. Upon starting it up, you are welcomed to a wonderfully hand-drawn 2D art cutscene explaining a few things about what the Biggsliocaucus, or “Biggs” for short, creatures do “every Spring. The male Biggs going out to eat the Crittacocephalus, or “Critters” as they are known. Their sons accompanying them to see how they’re fathers are efficient to the Critter’s eco-system while bringing food home to his family on the other side of the island.”

After that cutscene, you are on a map letting you choose (as you unlock more of them) spots to go to to find more puzzles. Starting off with the tutorial and going from there.

critter-crunch-ss

Gameplay-wise, the game is a basic “match three” puzzler, with a twist. You feed “two smaller critters to one bigger critter” to “make them pop.” It’s an interesting mechanic and as you ‘pop more critters” you start to fill up a “hunger gauge.” Your goal, at least in this mode is to fill up the Hunger Bar to beat the level.

Sounds easy, right? Well the game’s tutorial level even explains the challenge. You must do this while the game continues to bring more critters into the lines of the gameplay table. If a critter reaches Biggs/passes the line… like Tetris, the game will be over.

The gameplay mechanics are easy enough that even kids should be able to pick-up and enjoy Critter Crunch on the first go, with maybe with a little explanation/help from the parents for kids the age of five to eight.

There is a “food chain” mechanic where popping a critter near similar other critters will also make them pop. This seems to be a strategic advantage in having the board clear without the player being overwhelmed.

“Food chains” seem to also happen when you feed one smaller critter to a bigger critter and have that “full” bigger critter be fed to an even bigger critter. Good for speedy clearing of the board.

Like Tetris and other puzzle games, there is a “quick drop” option for Critter Crunch. Unlike those games, this “speeds the next line up” in dropping so you can pop more critters. This is achieved with the D-pad down button.

Also, funny enough your “Son, Smalls” will show up when you chain an 8-Critter pop-combo (for lack of better words). You then have the ability to “feed” your son by “barfing into his mouth” with rainbow barf. Yes, you read that right. You feed your child with rainbow barf. Unfortunately, you have to be quick about doing this, as “Smalls is impatient, so be quick about it” as the aptly named “Barfing Tutorial” mentions. Thankfully, so long as Biggs mouth is empty of Critters, you can simply go over to Smalls and press the circle button on your Dual-Shock 3 to barf/feed your son.

The twist to feeding your son is that if you do it quickly enough and “fill him up on his first visit” you will max your points out. The catch is, that by feeding your son, the critters will also drop faster as they are “attracted to the barf.”

Feeding Smalls on his first visit also means that you don’t need to have him appear again to feed him (to reach his max) again. You won’t have to feed him again for that level once he reaches his max. If he doesn’t reach his max, you can simply call him back out by gaining another 8-pop-chain.

Achievement wise: The game has two online achievements (Play and win a versus mode match, and reach level 5 in versus mode), with the rest being singleplayer. The achievements seem easy to do, in theory but in practice some of them (like “World Greatest Dad”) will be hard to master.

To move into the multiplayer: The ranked multiplayer matches are like Tetris. You match Critters to pop them to gain power-ups to screw over your opponents. Simple, but the game becomes fast and furious between both players to fill the other players play field to the point of winning. (Though, there is a hunger meter in the two player mode, maybe another way to win is by filling that up quickly. I can’t say at the time of writing.)

Graphically, the game is very pretty with hand-drawn art. I would wager to say that I think Capybara’s art-department needs a pay-raise. At 1080p (though an HDMI cable is required to reach this resolution) the game is gorgeous with the hand-drawn art. Biggs is charming in animation and the game reeks of cuteness.

Overall, the game is a nice addition to the PSN library and if you enjoy puzzle games it is easily worth the $7USD (at the time of writing) to buy. Unfortunately, I have to mention there is no color-blind option (though talking to Capybara, they are “thinking about patching it into the PS3 version”), so if you are color-blind you may have a little trouble with the game (since there are some Critters that are similar in color to other Critters).

crittercrunchshirts

If you aren’t completely satisfied with just the game, they are also offering some cute T-shirts at this link. Very cute T-shirts with a catchy “hey, what’s the game your advertising?” twist.

I want to thank Capybara Games for giving me the opportunity to review their game.

inFamous notes

Whew, E3 is draining me in terms of writing things for it. So, I’m going to give a quick +/- impressions on inFAMOUS, which came out a week before E3.

Pro:
+ Controls really well. I was expecting some awkward superpower controls or something, but getting around the city was really quick and easy.
+ There are some collectibles around that may take you a bit of time to get.
+ The achievements in the game are really easy to get. Taking about five days tops to get.

Cons:

- Pop-in is pretty noticeable, especially when you’re grinding the rails around the city and having textures pop-in. Not game breaking, but like Mass Effect on the Xbox 360 it’s noticeable.
- Horrible respawn locations for when you die. I could be on another island and die somewhere on that island have all the medic/re-spawn locations unlocked on that island… but, the game decides to spawn me back on another island clear across from where I was. What the hell?
- The plot is almost entirely terrible. When it ends (Terminator 2 style) it could only be saved if they had given Cole some cool sunglasses before… (spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers)
- There is no in-game statistics menu. To find how many shards/stunts you have done you most likely have to view the save on your XMB. Which is pretty damn stupid, Sucker Punch. Every other sandbox game has an in-game stats menu option. Why is Sucker Punch doing things differently?
- And viewing the stats is a hassle considering you have to do the one they list on the pause menu before you can find out what any of the other 21 stunts are.

Buy/Rent/Don’t play: Rentable at best. Playable but frustrating at worse.

Rent it since the game can be beaten in about 1-2 days of heavy play. There is minimal replay value in playing through the story again and when the game ends all you’re left with is a sandbox mode for finding collectibles.

Puzzle Quest: Galactrix

Or: A lesson on how to screw up what was a good thing.

Galactrix cover

Let me start by saying I loved playing Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords/Revenge of the Plague Lord. With problems and all that on the PSP, the XBLA release was alright and fixed a majority of the bugs. The PS3 version is fine as well minus the infamous (for this version only) music bug. There was a Nintendo DS version that had a battle bug (the first turn had the same layout of gems no matter the battle). I’m not knowledgeable about the Mac/PC versions but I hear they’re okay if somewhat buggy as well.

So, it comes as a complete shock to me that Infinite Interactive went into the boardroom and said “gee, how can we totally alienate players in our sci-fi RPG/puzzle sequel?”

Click to continue reading “Puzzle Quest: Galactrix”

Quick PSN updates

bionic_commando_rearmed

(Mostly because Dr. Time asked me to do this and I’m not really in the huge mood to write after comments thinking I’m “talking shit” about the console with Spider-Mans’ double chins has a blurry as fuck game…)

Notable:

Bionic Commando: Rearmed (remake of the NES game) is $4.99 ($5) this week. 50% off it’s price. One week only.

[Bionic Commando is awesome -ed]

Siren: Blood Curse has ONE WEEK LEFT at $29.99 ($30) before it turns into $39.99 again.

Rag-Doll Kung Fu: Fists of Plastic is FREE ($0) for THIS WEEK ONLY.

Playstation Home wise: The apartment is out for FREE now and it’s a limited time only offer. If you’re wanting a new space, go grab it?

PSX game wise: Spyro: Year of the Dargon (the third/last game by Insomniac) is out on PSN today. As is SNK’s King of Fighters: 1999/’99. Both are $4.99.

Playstation Home finally gets a new space…

… Thankfully, you don’t have to pay for it like you do the new Log-cabin and Movie set spaces.

Playstation Home Today has the information and screen shot grabs from the latest Pulse. This space is FREE and time-exclusive to the next couple of weeks (when it launches) and then it’s GONE forever. Be sure to grab it if you’re into Playstation Home.

And grab Siren: Blood Curse if you want a survival horror game in the style of Silent Hill. The whole 9 gig game is being sold at $29.99 ($30, $10 less than it’s normal price) or the episodes are being sold at $9.99 ($10, across three episode bundles). These prices are only good for two weeks (starting yesterday) so get it while you can?

Sekoku’s Rant Time: And now for something completely different

After the break, witness Sekoku’s extreme rant about…stuff….

Click to continue reading “Sekoku’s Rant Time: And now for something completely different”

Happy (former) Big-Shell Day Everyone!

Now you, too, can carthwheel naked outside while waiting for a guard to “!” in surprise.

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And have the “living legend Solid Snake” hold your clothes while you do that.

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Click to continue reading “Happy (former) Big-Shell Day Everyone!”

HOLY SHIT

Capcom finally confirms they’re releasing Marvel vs. Capcom 2: NEW AGE OF HEROES for PS3/X-box 360.

Sadly, we have to wait until the summer. Still, very nice.

Can I get a “FUCK YEAH” from my non-existent audience? :D

The short gist is, this is a wide-screen tailored online-code-base-like-Super Street 2: Turbo HD Remix (not sure if want on that front, esp. for the PS3 version. It’s not bad, though), and is based on the Dreamcast version (nearly Arcade perfect AND HAD ONLINE THROUGH 56K/BROADBAND ON THE JAPANESE COPY FOR SEGA.NET)

Also, for the PS3 users:

This Thursday, April 30, PlayStation Network users will enjoy a free, exclusive MVC2 demo! No need to purchase another game, just download it straight to your PS3 and get ready for some triple tag team action (A big thank you goes out to Rommel Hernandez who helped make this exclusive demo possible).

Here are the details of the demo:

* Two-player local matches
* Six available characters – Ryu, Chun-Li, Strider, Spider-Man, Iron Man and Wolverine
* Seven selectable environments
* Upscaled 1080p graphics
* Widescreen or 4:3 aspect ratio
* Two graphic filter options for character sprites
* And other cool options to check out

While it isn’t online, it should whet your appetite for taking people for a ride. :)

It’s hard to seduce women when you’re carrying around a shotgun

(To appease Mr. Timedoctor before he strangles me for this over IRC):

Annoyment: Hey Treyach, 007 mode? Pin-point accuracy from the enemies? Yeah, that’s not “hard” that’s “annoying”

“Oh, hey. I’ll slowly or too fast aim at the enemies head.” (BLAM BLAM BLAM! DUN-DUN-DUN-DAH-DUN-DUN! *Bond theme and death*)

Another annoyment: Left Bumper for weapon switch, really Treyarch? Do it Halo style and put it on Y-button for the 360 or something.

I will say that while it takes some liberties from the two Craig films (this is noticeable from the start if you watched Casino Royal to ending and the start of Quantum of Solace) I am enjoying the game otherwise (which is funny since I couldn’t stand most other Bond FPS, with the exception of Goldeneye and I didn’t touch that much since I had no N64).

I dig the SHOW THEM ONLINE! (Achievement/Trophies) are named after the Bond films (well, most of them), which is a fitting theme. As is the kill/damage system. Take too much damage and you have the “Bond gunshot through lens” effect on yourself. Irony.

The game also does a stylized opening after the first level, while it isn’t one of the big-budget movie intro-title-sequences it is refreshing to see one in a game.

A quick peek at the multiplayer menus seems to have a mixture of CoD4/5’s custom “class”/loadouts and Counter-Strikes money-for-kills-to-buy-new-guns system. I didn’t get into the multiplayer yet, but some people are complaining about it. Who knows.

Pretty good $10 spent on the sale at Best Buy. Bonus: The SKU that is $10 includes an XL 007 T-shirt. SCORE!

Also: For those that are curious about the title of this post:

< sek> Oh, hell. What the fuck were they thinking when they allowed two handguns but one primary weapon? I can keep my SMG or switch to this shotgun. But I can’t give up my default pistol to have both. That’s stupid.
<+DoctahTime> it is james bond
<+DoctahTime> he isn’t a 10-guns-in-his-backpack guy
< sek> I still find it odd that Bond wouldn’t pack of an SMG and Shotgun.
<+DoctahTime> when has he ever carrried more than one or two guns, one of which is always a pistol, in a movie
< sek> DoctahTime: Just now, two handguns and a primary.
<+DoctahTime> yeah
<+DoctahTime> that is what i mean
<+DoctahTime> two handguns isn’t much
< Etch-a-Sketch> it’s hard to seduce women when you’re carrying around a shotgun
< sekoku> Etch-a-Sketch: Winner.

The Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Athena

…is kinda weak.

In it’s defense, it has Escape from Butcher Bay which is fucking awesome.

For those of you that never played the PC version/XBOX IS HUEG LOLOLOLOLOLOL haters should buy the X-box 360 version (it looks cleaner/crisper which proves Starbreeze can’t port for the PS3 well) ASAP if only for Escape being bundled in.

PS3 version isn’t bad if you only have a PS3, BTW. Just pales in graphics a little to the X-box 360 version.

I totally recommend this game(s), though. They’re actually quite good for movie-based games.

LittleBigPlanet 1.12 update: HOLY SHIT THERE IS A GOD!

Media Molecule has information on it, suffice it to say it’s live right now.

Noteable:

Music Player
The endless humming noise in creator mode getting you down? Waiting around in your Pod for friends to join? Now you can browse your Playstation music collection and play some funky tunes to inspire you or keep you amused. Access the Music Player options from the settings menu.

Profile settings
We’ve added some settings to help clear through the clutter – if you hit the Start button, and go to settings, you’ll see a new Profile Settings menu, where you can choose whether or not to automatically collect community objects and photos.

The bold should cut down CONSIDERABLY on “profile full” errors if people use it and only collect GOOD community objects that they want. The photo mode isn’t needed, but with the amount of “photo booth”ing in levels, it’s a WELCOME option that I’m turning on. No, I don’t want a badly placed photo to automatically be added in my pop-it, thank you.

BTW: Monkey King is out today. It’s a free costume, go pick it up if you want it.

In non-LBP news: Sega is previewing Val Chron DLC that is out TODAY.

So yeah. Pretty good update for PSN this week. :)

Microsoft builds faulty hardware:

Film at 11.

NeoGAF is linking Slowtaku Kotaku who is saying Microsoft is now repairing E74 (AKA: GPU MELTED ENJOY YOUR GREEN BOXES BEFORE YOU TURN YOUR CONSOLE OFF FOR THE LAST TIME! LOLOLOLOLOL!) errors.

The best news:

That’s the, uh, “good” news. The better news? If your machine suffered from an E74 previously, and you had to pay for repairs, Microsoft will refund you the amount some time over the next 4-12 weeks.

Yay, tax money return for mine in the next couple of months.

Hey, Microsoft: Instead of knowingly rushing out faulty hardware to beat the other big two to the punch, why not QA your shit so you aren’t bleeding EVEN MORE MONEY(!) than your last console due to the the hardware failures?

I am awesome:

And yet, people don’t read me and read people that steal my thunder:

Valkyria Chronicles? Yeah, that awesome game I told you to go buy or you’re dead to me? Someone is saying the same thing if only nicer.

Damn you, Playstation Lifestyle! Quit stealing the spotlight that should be getting me paid by Mr. Timedoctor! ARGH!

(For those of you that don’t get this: I’m being tongue-in-cheek because I know no one on the intertubes reads my writing. ;)

Also to make this post worthwhile: LittleBigPlanet DLC previews on the Playstation.Blog:

Worthwhile in my opinion:

Egypt ($2.99USD)
Monkey King (Free!)
Level Creation Upgrade Kit (Free)

Oh, and the 1.12 patch, but everyone gets that for free and automatically. ;)

Damn it, Sony, Damn it: The Cock Up Edition

Yeah… you remember that super-awesome 1.30 patch for Wipeout HD, that Playstation.Blog talked about?

Well, it freezes your PS3 if you try to load an auto-save after updating.

Nice, right?

Two ways to fix it:

1) Delete your save (don’t do this)
2) Sign out of Playstation Network (if you already are signed in), go start Wipeout HD. After it loads (!!!) sign into PSN. Then go to your options and change something really quick. Save the setting. V-TEC Auto-save will JUST kickED in.,YO!

Then you can re-adjust the setting and your problem should be fixed.

Now if they could fix the screw-up with the signing into the online servers (which still WILL NOT LET ME SIGN INTO THE SERVERS) since 1.20, we’d be in business. Sadly, they probably won’t.

The fix for that is plugging your PS3 in via Ethernet cable, but I’m lazy to get the “proper” (while I agree that wire > wireless…) connection going. So it’s back to the bottom of my games for Wipeout HD.

In non-cock up news: Valkyria Chronicles’s DLC is finally dated. DAMN IT, SEGA, DAMN–Oh, wait. Good job Sega! ONLY IT’S BEEN HALF A YEAR AND YOUR COCK TEASING WASN’T NICE. But still, sure, I’ll take the DLC.

Playstation Home news: Resident Evil 5’s space is finally updating with content Europe has had since at least Game launch. Whoopie!

Oh, and Poker is coming to Home through the EA Godfather 2 ad space. Cool and all, but watch it be hella busy like all the other Warioware: Mega micro games (besides that six-axis/Total Tilt(?) mini game in the Alpha 1 XI zone) to where when you REALLY want to play it you can’t.

To fix this cock-up: Sony needs to give Home users the ability to buy those Poker/Chess/Mankala *Far Cry 2* spaces and let them play with friends in their home space. Or… you know… stop with the stupid limits and let everyone play if they’re in the limited number of “instances” there is a max number for those and the amount of people in them, you know that, Sony, you made us hit those limits for Warhawk and Socom (which I won). Why can’t you just let games not have a limit?

And that’s the update for today (unless something major comes up), in Playstation Land.

X-box Live has gotten Puzzle Quest: Galactrix. And while I loved the shit out of the first Puzzle Quest and it’s expansion (Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords/Revenge of the Plague Lord, respectively) this outing is mired with very annoying things. A quick Google of would give you the most common complaints so I won’t air them here.

Buy/Don’t Buy: Try the demo, if you can get around the annoying things, buy it. It’s solid Puzzle Questing. Otherwise don’t buy and buy the first (which is even more solid).

Flock also came out today, and it’s coming out for PSN tomorrow. So yeah… XBL will probably be the only one with a demo since Sony doesn’t mandate those (STUPID ON SONYS PART, MAY I ADD?). So if you have both consoles, try the XBL Flock demo and see if you want to buy it. Then choose on controller/online preferences or whatever.

Buy/Don’t Buy: I dunno, I may not get back to you on that if I can give a damn to turn my 360 on for you.

Also, while I’m ranting like Dennis Miller on a bender: X-box Live Marketplace integration into the internet space is cooler than Sony’s stupid download (PC ONLY!) store. Note to Sony: Let Mac/THIS IS A UNIX system I KNOW THIS! into your little buying parade and then maybe I can link your stuff?
Good job, Microsoft. You haven’t made me hate you on this yet.

Quick updates:

Nothing really witty, this is an attempt to break my writers block for this website and inform at the same time.

Biohazard 5/Resident Evil 5’s “Versus” downloadable content came out today. You can’t spell ignorant without IGN is a little hard on it:

Versus includes two modes, Slayers and Survivors, with free-for-all and 2-on-2 team options. Both game types are modified versions of Mercenaries Mode, already included on the retail disc. Neither seems particularly well thought out and both use the same maps and scoring system as in Mercs Mode.

Slayers has players trying to earn as many points in Mercenaries Mode with three others vying for points as well. You rack up points, smash time bonuses to extend the playtime for everyone, and discover combo bonuses, just like in Mercenaries, but there is a twist. And that twist is the other players. Your opponents can shoot you. Damage costs you points and death costs you even more. Fortunately, you can do the same to them. Survivors Mode also has zombie enemies, but you score bonus points for shooting the other players.

and:

Despite its problems, Versus Mode could have been a lot better if Capcom put any creative thought behind its design. For example, if I’m in the lead in Slayers, it would be beneficial for me to prevent other players from smashing a time bonus. After all, if time runs out soon, I win. But the scoring is still geared towards Mercenaries Mode. It’s not just that I want to be in the lead, but I still am trying to reach the same scoring milestones as in the single-player version. It’s just that I have some other players getting in my way. Doing something, anything, to make this more than just Mercenaries with four people would have helped. Adding rounds like a more traditional multiplayer game or altering the entire scoring system or adjusting how the time bonuses work or changing the levels or balancing the characters–anything at all would have been a plus. But Versus is little more than an overpriced add-on.

While, I do agree that it’s Mercenaries with Friend Fire set to ON mode that doesn’t make it a bad thing. Team Slayer can be a fun little romp when it equates to “Two Teams playing Mercenaries” and people aren’t stepping on each others toes (AKA: shooting each other). Survivor is also neat in theory, but it’ll probably get old after a while.

My quick review: It has achievements and unlike most other DLC it isn’t the standard $10 price. Could it have been on the disc? Yes. Could it have been free? Yes. Should you buy it? That’s really up to you. I, as an achievement whore, bought it despite feeling dirty and knowing it was a half-baked mode. But, over all… it can be fun when it clicks. But I think Mercenaries could be the workhorse DLC engine for Capcom (not that I condone this).

Add in previous series main characters (with some new unique attacks), add in levels. Add in some weapons. Add in customization options. Versus proves four player Mercenaries is possible, so patching that in (FREE) would make that mode really more fun than it already is.

Give us the Samurai Edge/new weapons in story mode. Give us new levels, flesh out Jill/Josh’s side-story. There are many many possiblities for new DLC that is better thought out if Capcom would think things through.

I’d caution that if you don’t really want the achievements and aren’t keen on the Versus mode, that you DO NOT BUY it and tell Capcom to shove it and think of better DLC. But it’s your cash, and I can’t stop you.

While I’m writing: Playstation.Blog has information on Wipeout HD’s 1.30 patch coming tomorrow. It adds in emblems for online races, some other stuff and notably the ability to join races in progress (but you can not actually join until the race in progress is over. You can watch the other players racing).

It’s a little late (in like… six months late) but it’s better late than never. The main problem with Wipeout HD (other than it’s balls hard difficulty), is that the online is dead unless you want to play against players that will stomp your ass dry before you even “GO!”